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Almost a year ago, I was casually seeing a guy that I really liked — probably because he was as sarcastic and intolerable as I am. This moment occurred at the end of an otherwise excellent evening about a month into our dalliance.

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We were leaving a South Austin bar, holding hands and heading back to Just sex and a Austin Texas apartment when he mentioned that my address was saved in his Nude Switzerland wives. Prompted by his incredulous, understandably insulted expression, I explained my logic: Take Man Bun, for example. All they know is that he has long hair that is sometimes worn in a bun get it?

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Over the course of a few years, my friends have collectively spent time with about a million men whose, of course, words, actions and sexual preferences have been analyzed over a million brunches. We apologize for anything you might have overheard at Bouldin Creek Cafeby the way.

Hot Dad, Google Guy, The Elf, Choker named for his unfortunate necklace, not the kinky bedroom act, perverts and the list goes on. There was even a particular gentleman — I use that term loosely — who routinely mistreated one of my Just sex and a Austin Texas and, as a result, was dubbed Voldemort because he was the worst.

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Voldemort, the pizza-slinging stoner who only texts me at 1 am to "come smoke and make out," and Just sex and a Austin Texas Sixth Street bartender who sends me weird shirtless selfiesthe good ones — the ones Austln genuinely care about — probably do. Or is it a form of objectification and somehow detrimental to finding something long-lasting? I guess, for now, we can just boil it down to the classic Shakespearean question: Party with a purpose.

By Brandon Watson. It's only natural.

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